'Dinner Date & The Dictaphone' - The Maizy Marzipan Session - Part One

It’s a five-letter word that doesn’t fit.
Like any job description it is a restrictive straight jacket spat out by those who get a hard on for neat little boxes.
It says little about the individual.

A woman who models then?
Still not close, but getting there.

How about agent provocateur, a street level ambassador for freedom of speech and expression, a survivor, a champion of the fringes, an activist who is pushing hard into mainstream territory and planting an unapologetic loud and proud freak flag for the masses to flock to, or even run from?

Closer again we suppose, but it still doesn’t cover it because Maizy Marzipan is an undiluted force of nature.
Whatever you think she is, she’s not, she’s more.
But don’t take our word for it.
Instead read on.......
— Alex "Mainy" Main - New Hellfire Club

For the second chapter in our Dictaphone Dinners, the various bodies of NHC had turned up perhaps before their minds. This was the morning after the night before in the purest sense as we had wisely booked straight on the back of NHC’s Edinburgh invasion. A night beholding the spectacle that was Courtesans with Painting Rockets and Magic Trik ended with replacement busses, an exploration of Glasgow’s late night music scene an psychedelic journeys of the mind. This date started with a phone call. 



Are you alive, bro? We’re all at Sleazy’s.

Fuck! I’ll roll onto the subway and be there in 10.

Sound. We’ve set up the tab and got the rounds and food coming in. Get yer arse in!
— David Spence and Something Broken

Jamie: Chrissy, we’ve been here aw day. Aw day, Chrissy! While you were in the hoos having an existential crisis.

Spence: “Is this real!!?”

Jamie: “Wit am I doing with my life!?”

Chrissy: I actually got up at about 9 this morning and thought about getting ready to head over then suddenly it was half 12 and I’d lost about 3 hours. Scary stuff!

Spence: These [tacos] are very much the same size as the ones in Topolabamba.

Maizy: I think they’re bigger actually – oh they’re so fucking good!

Spence: Yeah, it’s all fresh vegetables as well. So, Jamie, what is it you wanted to ask Maizy?

Jamie: What’s the weirdest proposition you’ve had for a photo. Which I’m interested in as you probably get a LOT of weird requests. Not necessarily the creepiest but what’s the weirdest?

Spence: You mentioned that people can book you for personal shoots?

Maizy: Yeah, I’ll happily do custom photos but there is a limit on how far I’ll go with that.

Jamie: Haha, that seems fair!

Maizy: Oh god, yes. I mean, there is the guy that messaged me and asked me to bathe in freshly slaughtered goat’s blood! He was like “yes, my daughter will sacrifice a goat for you and we will put it in the bath!”

Spence: His daughter!? Is that supposed to make it seem more attractive and friendly? Like “oh, my daughter will be there – she’ll slaughter a goat with ye!”

Maizy: Yeah, so there’ll be a female there which makes it better.

Spence: What a fucking…

Maizy: He only offered me £200 as well – I mean, not that there’s any amount of money that’d make me do that but if you’re going to ask someone to do that…

Jamie: Aye, at least up your game a bit.

Chrissy: Maybe to him that was normal and he thought he was doing YOU the favour? He’s like “yeah, come on down and my daughter will sacrifice one of our goats for you. Here’s some expenses!”

Jamie: See, I’m thinking he’s obviously not from Scotland then if that’s what’s on offer. That means you’ll have to travel for it as well.

Spence: Maybe he has a farm? To be honest, I’m siding with Chrissy here – maybe his daughter’s bang tidy!


Jamie: …and he wanted her in the photos? Sick bastard!

Spence: “This is great exposure for my daughter – putting her in a Maizy Marzipan shoot!”
Aside from actual shoots, what’s the most random, but weird, request you’ve had from a person? I know that you’ve mentioned before people will send you outfits and stuff from people as well.

Maizy: This is still fairly recent as well but there was a guy that got in touch last week or something that said he wanted to do a charity shoot. I’ve done a lot of charity stuff before like SAMH –

Spence: SAMH?

Maizy: Scottish Adult Mental Health – I do loads of fundraising work for them. I’m always open to charity stuff so I thought I’d hear him out. He was like “I want you to do a cake smash video for cancer research!” Cake smash is where you get a pavlova or something and just sit on it.

Jamie: Wiiiit?

Maizy: Or you squish cupcakes with your feet!

Spence: …and that’s for charity?

Maizy: He says it’s for charity but it was basically a guy just wanting fetish videos for free. He’s been on a rampage contacting a lot of local models under the guise of Cancer Research and we’re all just like “fuuuck offff!”

Jamie: …and it’s just for him and not charity? That’s weird, man.

Maizy: Yeah, he just wanted me to sit on a cake.

Spence: Predator

Maizy: I mean, that can’t be good for you – getting cream all up in your business!

Spence: …or a bit of meringue up in there. You might get a wee cut or something!

Maizy: That’s begging for a yeast infection!

Spence: I’ve been with plenty of lassies that have had yeast infections. The old cranberry!

Everyone: Awwwwww….

Maizy: We’ll be cutting that bit out then!

Spence: What? Wit’d I say? [To Jamie] You telling me Becky’s never had a yeast infection?

Jamie: You’re just going wae the wrong people, mate.

Spence: [To Chrissy] Are YOU telling me that Graham’s never had a yeast infection?

Chrissy: In his arse, last week. It was a horrible smell!

Maizy: Guys can get yeast infections as well!

Jamie: Aye, that’s true.

Spence: Aye, in the leg. I’ll tell you what happens to me. I go to bed and get pure sweaty behind my leg and scratching it is what gets me up… Like a sweaty film!

Jamie: That’s good, mate.

Chrissy: A sexy film?

Jamie: That’s his bedtime talk.

Jolly: I’m just over here in the corner listening to your words like “what the fuck?”

Spence: Oh, hello there, Sebastien!

Jolly: I look like that creep that wants to join your group but isn’t really in your group.

Spence: Keep him tae the side!


Spence: One thing that I was thinking, as I mentioned to Jamie today, is what I requested. I wanted a print and the rights to it. When do you not own the rights to a picture? Is it when you’re modelling other people’s clothing or merchandise?

Maizy: Generally, by default when it comes to the law, whoever takes the picture retains the copyright. Some shoots though, I’ve been able to obtain the copyright from the photographer so I’ve been allowed to sell those prints. Or come to deals where any money I make from the prints will be split between us.

Jamie: I just find it weird that it’s your image – it’s actually you in the picture but you don’t own it.

Spence: So, if you take a picture and someone then uses that image or sells it without your permission, it's illegal even if they credit you?

Maizy: That’s illegal - that's definitely against the law.

Chrissy: A lot of people do get away with that kind of thing when it comes to smaller independent enterprises – they might not be too clear on the law or think they have the resources to chase up such a claim.

Spence: I’ve got so many questions that I’ve been going over in my head for the last week. When it comes to women, and how they perceive what you do, have you ever came up against any animosity or angst? Do you ever get any shit from other females just because you are a cosplay artist and alternative model?

Maizy: Never from strangers which is weird as you’d think strangers would be the worst.

NHC: Yeah, definitely.

Maizy: It’s actually just from people I know or people on the modelling scene. The Scottish Alternative Modelling scene – there’s a lot of people out there and it can get really competitive and I have seen a bit of animosity between models but generally they’re alright. Anyone I’ve had talk to me about modelling has been really supportive. When I did the BBC and…

Spence: The Social? That was really good - I liked that.

Maizy: Thank you. When I did the Social video a lot of people reached out to me – a lot of women actually – and had said things like “I’ve been in a similar situation. I’ve been bullied too and love how you’ve found empowerment through your modelling.” So yeah, generally I’ve found it’s been supportive when you’d think it would be a really bitchy industry.

Jamie: Aye, you’d think it would be quite bad.

Spence: You see normally I would pick faults – not with a model themselves but I would rip apart modelling in the sense that you’re a size zero, you’re influencing kids and young girls growing up with anxieties and disorders and shit like that. Whereas, you are yourself. Even earlier on when we were talking about food you were like “I’m fucking eating!”

Maizy: I’ve got FOUR fucking tacos here!

Spence: That, to me anyway, is one of the reasons we wanted to work with you and get you out with us. We’re not into all this bullshit Hollywood crap where a model is a model because she weighs nothing or because she doesn’t say anything or what she does say is scripted.

Jamie: Yeah, we’re not fake.

Spence: There’s a sense of realness to you. Do you think it’s coming from Glasgow that maybe plays a part in that?

Maizy: Maybe. I don’t diet excessively or market myself as something I’m not as that’s not how I done this. This started off as a hobby that got out of control pretty quickly. I mean, aside from changing my name, which is for my own privacy more than anything.

Jamie: Aye, so you don’t get offered any more goats!

Spence: Well, a lot of people do have, dependent on the situation or even their career if it’s in music or something like that, tend to develop alias as well.

Jamie: Aye, you need your privacy and to have a clear split between them.

Spence: Aye, this is like what we were talking about with Renfrew in the last interview. When does it stop being “Renfrew” and when does it start being “Chris?” You must experience, even with yourself, a disparity between “Maizy” and “******”

Maizy: Yeah, it’s a strange one. God, this might get a bit deep here. I use Maizy as like, not just an alias. But almost as a separate personality. If I’m going out for a photoshoot, “******” doesn’t necessarily have the confidence to go out and do that, or the gusto, the balls, or gumption or whatever. But, if I snap into “Maizy”, she’s really bubbly and amazing and can do fucking anything. Yeah, I’m not the most confident person but it’s like the “fake it ‘til you make it” deal so I’ll switch on Maizy.

Spence: With your head held high.

Maizy: There’s very few people who see me for completely who I am anymore.

Spence: Do you think that your experience with mental health, which you’ve mentioned, has helped you here and is now maybe an ability? Like, you’re able to switch – it’s not like a disorder but you’re able to switch to get through a situation and you understand that, and are aware of it, and it’s not as if you’re beating yourself up for being someone else.

Maizy: Yeah, but I think calling it a disorder or a disability… I don’t like that. Some people say thing like “aw, you’re suffering” but you’re not – you’re just wired a bit differently and I use that wiring to my advantage and try to find the silver lining haha

Spence: But is that through experiencing mental health issues that you’re now able to do that?

Maizy: Essentially, yeah.

Spence: I’d say at first, talking about any mental health, even myself, I didn’t know where I was at, what was happening or what was going on but the more I researched and the more that I talked to people – doctors, psychiatrists, friends – it helps you find a comfortableness and a peaceful plateau that you can then work from.

Maizy: Yeah, I feel you there. The more I understand about mental health the more I can deal with it. Sure there’s “******” and “Maizy” but the more I understand the more I can bring parts of “Maizy” into my real life.

Jamie: I think it’s quite good to have that. It means you can split it. You can go out one night as “Maizy” or go out as “*****” if you want – you have that choice to go out bubbly and crazy one night but you don’t have to as you can go out purely as yourself.

Maizy: It’s gotten a bit weird recently. When I go out I don’t dress up or anything but now I can be out with my boyfriend or something and people will recognise me when I look like “******” – they’ll be like “Aw there’s Maizy!” and it always takes me by surprise.

Jamie: Aye, that must be weird if you’re not out as Maizy!

Maizy: Yeah, because they’re completely separate characters so if I’m not in character and someone approaches me like “oh hey, you’re Maizy” I end up going “ohh fuuuck, what do I do!?”

Jamie: It totally reflects on the Renfrew thing again as he hates people talking to him as if he is the wrestler when he’s out and about. He’ll be like “you’ll talk to me as if I’m a person write now, I’m now the wrestler.”

Spence: Aye, so if you’re in ASDA in your joggy bottoms and someone starts shouting “Maizy” you’ll be like “what the fuck are you on about? I’m ******, I’m doing what you’re doing – I’m just here in my joggies to buy some milk!”

Maizy: They’ll be like “oh, are you Maizy Marzipan?” and I’ll be like “No, but I get that ALL the time.” Haha

Chrissy: Now that you’ve got a few years’ experience under your belt, and get a lot of work, do you still find it difficult sometimes to switch into character? Like, if you’re doing a shoot, a promotion or convention, is it hard to snap into the right character and that confidence if “******” has maybe had a shite day?

Maizy: Not at all – I never really did. I mean, growing up I struggled a lot with being different. I done a lot of drama which was a great creative release. I mean, it’s very much just acting when I turn it on – It’s just a character that’s really fucking developed.

Jamie: Aye, cause you kind of just fell into modelling, didn’t you? It wasn’t something where you actually decided “yeah, I’m gonna do that.”

Maizy: Yeah, it was a total accident. I was just minding my own business then BOOM – model!

Jamie: Hahaha that’s quite cool actually.

Maizy: Aye, my pal got sick the night before a shoot. She was the same size as me, she was a redhead and I was a redhead at the time.

Spence: You mentioned this in the Social video, didn’t you?

Maizy: I did, yeah. She was like “look, can you go along? The photographer is already up from down South.” So, I was like “welllll…. Fuck it!”
So, I went and then it kind of spiralled out of control.

Jamie: …and suddenly there’s a career there!

Jolly: All good decisions start with “fuck it!”


At these words the first interval came when Spence had to indulge his inner fetishes by taking photoceptions of photographers taking pictures of models eating.
Stay tuned for part 2!

Maizy Marzipan - www.facebook.com/maizymarzipan
Jolly Bearded Photography - www.facebook.com/jollybeardedphotography
Scottish Association for Mental Health - https://www.samh.org.uk/