Glitter, sweat and tears (of laughter) with Tragedy - A. Main


Disco and rock.
Sworn enemies battling for the hearts of music lovers since the dawning of time.
Until now.

NHC - Obviously Tragedy are considered the heroes of the disco-metal scene, maybe even the super heroes.
So if you are super heroes then what is your origin story?

200+ years ago, The Lord Gibbeth inadvertently started a forest fire while furiously copulating with Mother Earth. Disco Mountain Man attempted to extinguish the fire by masturbating onto it. Impressed by DMM's instincts, TLG adopted DMM. Then, in the late 20th century, TLG's seed erupted across America, leading to the birth of the world's fiercest band.

So no one was bitten by a radioactive Bee Gee spider?

There is no such thing.

All super heroes have super villains as their nemesis.
So is that Steel Panther, or is it Tenacious D, or is there another?

Steel Panther are certainly villains, but they don't have any superpowers left since Lance performed botched vasectomies on them. Tenacious D fights for justice alongside Tragedy every day.

An hour in a locked room with Steel Panther.
What would you do to them, or with them?

We have spent hours locked in rooms with these guys. Total silence. Total nudity. It was beautiful.

Lance, we need to speak about Lance.
Do you pay him in cash, in candy, or in sexual favours?
If it is the latter then how many gigs would he do for a rusty trombone?

We pay Lance in hand jobs. We allow him to give us each one hand job per gig. Before Tragedy, he owned and operated a rusty trombone cleaning service.

This is the laziest question I can think of.
What is the question you would most like to be asked in an interview, and the answer?
Knock your socks off.
Even go for two if you want?

Jeez. Why don't we just come over to your house and clean your bathroom? You lazy schmuck!

The question should be "how deep is YOUR love?". The answer: all the way up to the small intestine.

I asked a fan if he wanted to ask a question and it was shit.
So fuck that.
Instead let's pretend that he asked who gets the most action on tour?
By the way it was Androo from the band PowderKeg.

Yeah, that dude gets tongue-tied around us. Garry Bibb has an invisible funnel attached to his loins.

and who gets the least?

Duh! Lance.

Let's talk about the Joy of Sex.
Not the album, but just in general the joy of sex.
Favourite positions, and the rest of the band can jump in on this?

Our faves are all illustrated and described in the liner notes of our new album...The Maneater, The Funkytown, The Little Red Corvette

Someone just said to me this should be about the music.
So okay, let me think.
What is the best cover you haven't done?

Fanny Be Tender

and the best you have?

The ones on all five of our albums.

Glitter.
It's great, but also a bit abrasive when it gathers in the underwear.
It's like sex on the beach.
Great without the sand.
So how do you deal with it?

Our lovers are so moist that any chunky bits don't really create any discomfort.

That's the last three Glasgow shows you have played that the support band has dropped out and a replacement has not materialized.
Do you think that Glasgow bands are pussy's and just to frightened to share a stage with you?

No one should want to share the stage with Tragedy. They would just be humiliated by our greatness.

So do you want to ask me something?
No one will care about the answer, but I'm considering it my Warhol minutes of fame.
Go for it.

Yeah. How long is it supposed to take?

Anything over five minutes is a bonus.

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