How To Get Your Band Famous, Fast, In Today's Music Industry

Sorry to burst your bubble, but you don't... and if you think we have somehow cheated you into reading this article then get used to that feeling you have in the pit of your stomach right now, as you are going to be feeling the pangs of angry disappointment a hell of a lot more if you aim to survive in the local music scene, never mind thrive within it's higher echelons. Being scammed once by shitty promoters, pay to play venues, and get famous quick deals is how you learn how not to get scammed again. It's not pretty. It's not nice. It is however, a reality. The road you are on is not an easy one, but that doesn't mean you give up too early, as by God we need you to stay the course, as without new, talented, emerging bands from the local music scene bursting through the ranks... what are we left with?

Britain's Got Talent and X-Factor is what we are left with, and the future does not look pretty without original music, rather than the shit spewed out by beige Simon Cowell-esque revolving door music factories. If that's the future of music then by God I hope lil' Kim just fucking nukes us now and spares our ears a torrid future... That's lil Kim the dictator of course, not the singer.

The wrong Lil Kim

The wrong Lil Kim

We have heard a wealth of stories at NHC MUSIC about how some of your favourite personalities have somehow been plucked from total obscurity and thrust into the beautiful, bright lights of fame and fortune, but alas, we know a lot of these stories from the inside out, and we can safely say the majority of them are bullshit. The band you have been told where just plucked from a single gig by chance when a record executive for Sony just happened to be in the audience, in an obscure Glasgow venue, quaffing Tennants lager? Shite. That band toiled for years, lost friendships, honed their skills, played to one man and his dog, and worked their arses off for years... then they found fame. The record labels are the ones churning out the back stories, as that sounds a lot more palatable a heroes journey for fans than 'worked at Asda for six years to pay the rent in a shitty flat while giving up sleep just to keep the band alive'. Again though, if you are the guy or gal working nightshift in a local supermarket, or flipping burgers in Maccy D's for ten hours a day then doing band stuff in your 'off' time just so you can sweat literal blood and tears for your musical art then keep bloody doing it.

The music scene needs you. Society needs you. God damn it, I need you.

The future doesn't exactly look too rosy at the moment in the UK, but if we have the right soundtrack to get us by, if we have the right amount of angry, beautiful music written by folk like you to get us through our toughest of days, to help us through the shittiest of demonstrations against the evils that try to cow us and beat us into submission, and to aid us through the mental and physical battles to come, then we might just push through to the other side, and we will have beaten those odds together.

And by the time it is all over we will have found a new band to love and share our lives with. A new song to play at our weddings, and our funerals, to accompany us on our best times, and our lowest, and YOU will be the new soundtrack to our times of strife and beyond to the good on the other side.

So if you are that new band, struggling to get anywhere and wondering if it is all worth it, then keep struggling. For some of you out there, the struggle will all be worth it in the end, and the rest of us need your music now more than ever.

J.M.